{future style star}

I have jokingly been referring to Madeline as my little fashionista for awhile now. She gives me a run for my money every day when it comes to her wardrobe....changing her outfit at least five times each morning (leaving a trail of clothes in her dust). There is usually a small, if not large, amount of drama that we go through each day over what she is or isn't allowed to wear, what her sister is wearing that she wants, what's appropriate for the weather or the occasion, etc. Clothing drama. All. The. Time. Tonight, I put her and Claire to bed but Emma was out with Ryan. About a half hour later, they got home and I went upstairs to put Em to bed and Claire was sound asleep but Madeline was still lying there awake. She quietly called me over to her bed and asked me this...with all of the seriousness in the world: "Mommy, in the spring is it ok to wear like a short sleeve top with something long on the bottom?". I couldn't help but burst out laughing. First, I told her that yes...that is a totally acceptable outfit option for spring weather and then I asked her if that's always what she thinks about while she's lying in bed at night. The bashful grin on her face let me know that yup, it is. Oh dear! At least I know that girl has the world's biggest heart and sweetest soul.....otherwise I'd be in even bigger trouble.

xoxo,

ali

{birthday dinner}

just a snapshot from our night out...celebrating my hubby and his mom. love these peeps!

{happy birthday to daddy}

Today is Ryan's birthday....it's still early but we're already off to a fun start. He woke up to a trail of balloons, a coldstone cake, some gifts, lots of cards and pictures made by the girls and this poem from Emma:

A seed is me

The sun is Claire

Maddy is the space

Mom is the water

You are like the flower

Together the flower grows.

We are heading into the city soon to go to Reading Terminal Market to continue the fun (and the fat fest). I love birthdays and I love him!

xoxo,

ali

{easter inspiration}

{another fave!}

I need to take a minute to add to my list of favorites because it's still Friday and this is topping my list right now....

5. Jenny: She is the best babysitter. EVER. Here's a little glimpse into why....tonight she showed up a half hour early (allowing me to debate over my wardrobe in peace), with a basketful of eggs fresh from her family's chickens (of course) and asks if it's ok if she cooks the kids "breakfast for dinner" (then excitedly proceeds to fill me in on the whole dinner menu she had in mind)...then she doesn't just crack the eggs open, but hollows them out because she has planned a little egg painting craft for them to do. Oh wait, and then we get home before bedtime and she takes it upon herself to put the kids to bed anyway, even though Ryan and I are sitting right there. Then I go upstairs to say goodnight and she's holding a large book that I've never seen before. I ask her what it is and she informs me that she brings it with her every times she comes and reads the girls their bedtime story out of it...a little each time. Of course she does. Oh, sweet Jenny. My girls couldn't love her more and I don't know if I could either. She's an enormous blessing and a dream come true!

{friday favorites}

Friday? Again? Already?? As the girls get bigger and our days get busier, time flies by at warped speed. The past few weeks have been filled with those types of days where every time slot in my day is accounted for. I have been crashing early each night and sleeping like a rock recovering and gearing up for each new day. Alas, here we are....another week has bitten the dust. Here's a few of my faves from this week (or at least what my fried brain can remember):

1. My hubs: Tomorrow is his birthday!!!! In the midst of my busy week, there have been a handful of times where I have just stopped and realized what a huge blessing he is to me. Every now and then I find myself in awe of how he loves me (like cleaning the house from top to bottom because he knows I'm hosting a playdate the next day). I can only hope that I can learn to love so unselfishly the way that he loves me. I'm looking forward to (ice cream!) cake for breakfast and a whole day for all of his girls to spoil him:)

2. Easter, Easter, Easter: I love holidays. Like love them, love them. There is such a nostalgic sweetness to diving head first into each holiday and season that approaches. When I was studying Elementary Ed in school, I remember being so excited when working on units on seasons or holidays....the thought of exposing kids to the sweet side of life struck a chord with me. Weird, I know. But here I am as a mom, and I can't get enough of it. I can't, for example, let my kids have their snacks in a plain zip lock bag during the month of March when I know that Easter bunny zip lock bags are an option. To me, going the extra mile is always worth it. It's those little details that make childhood so much fun:) I often find the internal struggle to balance all of the cuteness with the realness of why we celebrate. This draws me to the word to keep my mind and heart seeking the truth and looking for ways to best share it with my girls. Ahhh, thank goodness we get breaks between holidays cause they sure do wear me out by the time they are said and done.

3. The Cheesecake Factory: Going there for dinner tonight. Without kids. I'm starving and I have birthdays to celebrate (and I have a sweet tooth the size of Texas). Need I say more?

4. My mom: I don't think I say it or show it enough. I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a neighbor, I am a friend. Sometimes I forget that before I was any of those things, I was and still am...a daughter. My mom holds a great amount of wisdom and discernment and is a huge blessing in my life. She's typically the first person I go to when I need a problem solved whether big or small because I completely trust her judgement and I know she'll have the answer. Sometimes I need a reminder that no matter how busy or hectic my days get, she's my mom and she won't be around forever and I need to carve out the time to show her what she means to me. Oh, and she's coming here next week. Can't WAIT!

xoxo,

ali

{inspired}

I have a confession. Sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), I have no idea what to write about or why anyone is actually reading this blog. I check in, I see the numbers and I automatically freak out thinking "Who are these people and why are they are coming here. What is it they are expecting from me?!". I don't know if you are here out of habit, hoping to get a funny self-degrading story, looking for pics of what's being going on with my family, checking out my latest party planning finds or hoping that I've come up with some profound thought for the day (yeah...prob not that). There are times when I find myself with nothing to write and times when my soul is overflowing with new things that the Lord is teaching me and I can't help but share. No matter how intimidating it is to be so completely raw about what goes on in my heart, I am led to share it with you in the hope that even one person will be touched and make it all worthwhile. Still, I often struggle with putting it all out there. I'll often write a post, hit publish and then ask myself what in the world I was thinking exposing my heart to the masses.

I know a girl who is a major fashionista, a former boutique owner and a style blogger. This week she shared that she's been hesitant to post on her "style" blog because God has been working so much in her life that writing about fashion just seems trivial at this point. Since then, she's been writing these amazing, encouraging, uplifting posts about things that really matter. Kourtney has seen the love of her savior transform her life and she can't not share it. She has inspired me this week to keep on keeping on....because when all is said and done, He really is too good to not share. Check her out and add her to your blog roll: kourtneypulitzerstyle@blogspot.com

Oh, and if you want to leave a comment telling me who you are and why you read, I really wouldn't mind. Just sayin..... ;-)

xoxo,

ali

{almost a sister}

Since moving to New Jersey, the most difficult thing for me hands down has been forming new friendships. It has been a lonely year and a half to say the least. This is an area of my life that I am constantly trusting God to show up in....and he Has and I know He will continue to.

"A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." proverbs 18:24

Tonight I'm thankful for a friend who was like a sister to me as a child and is a huge part of my life today. I love to think back 20 years to when we were (probably literally) pulling each other's hair out and then fast forward to the present when I need to talk about something or pray about something and she's the first person I go to. Our God is so big that he brought us back into each other's lives after so many years....His ways are greater than our ways. AMEN for that. More on her and more on this whole friendship thing another time!

xoxo,

ali

{besties and worsties}

A few years ago, Ryan started a tradition at the dinner table where we each have a turn sharing the best and worst part of our day. Or as Claire calls it "doing our besties and worsties". Yesterday was one of those days for me when I couldn't even think of a single worst part of my day because my entire day was just so darn good. I got back to the gym for the first time in a month, got a much needed eyebrow wax (you would not believe how long it took me to find the time to do this), cashed in my free iced coffee (pumpkin no less!) from dunkin donuts, ate lunch with my hubby, devoured the bible at nap time, took the girls on an outing to the craft store after school, cooked a delicious dinner in blissful peace while the girls crafted away....all this and the girls were on their best behavior all day; obeying me, not fighting, not even just tolerating, but all out loving on each other. It was amazing and a breath of fresh air. A much, much needed one. This was the same day, remind you, that started out with me losing my cool with Emma before school. But I learned so much from it that it wasn't enough to put a damper on my day. And you can imagine my joy to learn that that wasn't Em's worstie either. As a matter of fact, going to the library for your special at school is worse than getting yelled out by your mom and spending all morning in time out. Either she gained a lot of wisdom from our "talk" too, or she's learned to completely tune me out already at the age of eight. I'm crossing my fingers that it's the former:). One day at a time, I'm learning to slow down, take a deep breath and be thankful for all of my many blessing. Every last little one of them.

xoxo,

ali

{failing flesh}

So remember my last post that ended with me wanting to treat my girls in a way that brought glory to God? I made it exactly three seconds this morning before I failed miserably. Emma had been giving Ryan and I a run for our money all weekend. She was picking on her sisters left and right and was being repeatedly disrespectful to the two of us. And we had had it. This morning, I woke up and came downstairs and was greeted by a very grumpy eight year old who has gotten a little too big for her britches. Within thirty seconds, she was talking back to me and giving me major attitude and let me tell you...if it is not yet 7am, don't mess with me. So, I lost it again. It was one of those moments where I put her in time out, told her what she was doing wrong and then continued to let her know just to make sure she got it. While I made breakfast, I drove my point home. While I did the dishes, I made sure she really knew and as I packed her lunch for school I told her again. Just in case she didn't get it the first fifty times. What I realized later was that I was upset with her for not controlling her emotions and for being unkind to the people around her....and that that's exactly what I was doing to her in return. While her punishment may have been justified, the way I went about it was wrong. It needed to be done out of love for her and not out of my own frustration.

While working on my bible study today, I came across this verse:

"My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever."

psalm 73:26

I needed to hear that! And so does Emma. We are human and we will have things that we struggle with. My hope is that both of us can learn to let God be in control of our hearts so that we don't give in to the temptation to take it out on the people around us. Together this week, we will work on memorizing this verse and applying it to our lives. As part of her punishment, she has to go out of her way to show an act of love or kindness to one person each day. Maybe mommy needs to do the same. One of the things I'm most thankful for about this little girl that God has blessed me with is that he is always using her to refine me. She keeps me on my toes that's for sure. Here's to many more years of failed parenting attempts and the hope that God does great things in my children in spite of my mistakes....

xoxo,

ali

{speechless}

Some days you just have no words. Today started out as one of those days for me. I had some other things going on that were upsetting me (and therefore wearing my patience level waaaay down) and the girls pushed my buttons one too many times while getting ready for church this morning and I LOST IT. Like lost it, lost it. Like yelling at my girls and telling them about fifty times too many exactly what they were doing that was driving me absolutely crazy. And not in a nice, loving way. More like in a "I have zero tolerance for you or anything you say or do right now" way. Yup, as patient or laid back as you think I may be, that's not always the case. There are those moments like today when my stress or emotions get the best of me and I react in the worst way. Of course this had to happen on the way to church. Ha. Gotta love the irony. We dropped the girls off at their classroom and went in to the service and I was just numb and speechless. I was even speechless inside my head (trust me, this rarely happens). I was just completely mentally and emotionally drained, not to mention feeling a little guilty for being so harsh with the girls. I was just done. I was already over the day and the day had just started. And then the band started playing my song. This is one of the songs that gets me every time....it always has a way of speaking to me right where I'm at and reminding me of the merciful grace of my savior. The grace that redeems me over and over again.

Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm lost in your grace

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and grace become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing you praise

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise

From the inside out

Lord my soul cries out to you

Ahhhh, just typing the lyrics settles my soul deep within. There is immeasurable peace that comes from knowing that His mercy never fails. I pray that daily I would lose myself....that I would be consumed with the one who laid down His life for me and that every thought and action would be held captive by that. I pray that I would relate and react to everyone I come in contact with (especially my girls) in a way that brings glory to my savior. I want his all consuming love to change me....and to continue changing me daily. Every last shortcoming: big or small.

xoxo,

ali

{pinterest}

I am still a little out of the loop when it comes to pinterest. I love to go on and peek around to get ideas, but I still have not set up an account or actually started pinning anything. Kind of like how I got my new iPhone almost a year ago and still haven't downloaded a single song onto it. No joke. Sometimes you just can't be bothered. Sometimes you need to spend time focusing on more important things: like your table setting for Easter. Yup, Easter is still two weeks away and I've already been obsessing for weeks over the decor and details of the day. I found this pic of my dining room set online....all decked out for Easter dinner. It's giving me a little inspiration for what I want to do with my table. Ahhh, if only my dining room had nearly that much natural sunlight!

p.s. One of the things I love most about pinterest is that it reminds me that I'm not alone...there are millions of other people out there wasting away hour after hour, day after day, seeking ways to find an outlet for their creativity. I must not be crazy...there's safety in numbers:)

happy planning!

xoxo,

ali

{friday favorites}

1. SPRING!!!!: I thought I would be sad to see winter go...especially with our lack of snow this year. I was WRONG. I can't get enough of the warm weather. It's ahhhhhh-mazimg! The feel of the sun beating down on me, ditching my boots and throwing on flip flops, driving with the sunroof open and the windows down, long walks with my girls, tired and dirty kids at the end of the day, tan lines....I'll take it!

2. my backyard: I am love love loving spending my afternoons(and mornings and evenings for that matter) in the backyard. Giving my girls a picnic lunch, watching them play and laugh together, reading a book while soaking up some sun at nap time, planting herbs and flowers, swinging on the swingest(Yes, I do this. Alone. Even when my kids aren't around. Major nerd)....I CAN'T GET ENOUGH.

3. reading: I have always loved to read, but I often go through phases where I just don't have the time (or I fall asleep by the third page). I have started reading at nap time and it's been wonderful. I love the refreshing escape in the middle of my day that helps me unwind and get ready for round two. I'm almost finished with this week's book...can't wait to pick out another!

4. fresh brewed orange iced tea: self explanatory....brew some tea, squeeze in a few oranges, pour over ice and devour. I drink this by the pitcherful. Heaven.

5. maxi dresses: Love. Obsessed. Never ever get sick of them. It's the perfect blend of casual and chic, day time or date time. I'm pretty sure I've been wearing a maxi dress for a week straight. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna stop anytime soon.

6. birthday parties: Who doesn't love a good birthday party (other than most husbands I have come across)? I love to throw parties and I love to go to parties. They are fun, they are festive and they feed you cake: what's not to love? When you are a mom of small children, there's always a party. We are in full on party mode...spring has a way of doing that. Four this weekend alone. That's a lot of fun...and a lot of cake. Don't mind if I do!

So there you have it, a few highlights from my week. ON TIME. Imagine that. Hope you all enjoy your weekend...I know I'll be enjoying mine:-)

xoxo,

ali

{man pants}

Yes, you read that right. I said man pants. As in the most important article of clothing that I own. As in run out immediately and buy yourself a pair. My beloved man pants have been around for quite some time now (much too long for Ryan's liking, I'm sure). If by now you are wondering what man pants are and why in the world any self respecting woman would own a pair, this is the part when I tell you:) The technical name for them is "boyfriend pants" and they come from Victoria's Secret. I just happen to think that man pants has more of a ring to it. And I just happen to kind of resemble a man when I wear them. But seriously, they are my best friend. My man pants are an XS but fit like an XL. They are made that way (hence the boyfriend part). Genius. If I am in a bad mood, if I am freezing cold, if I am sick, if I am just too tired to deal with life, if I have eaten my fair share of cupcakes or engorged myself at dinner....they are there. Alway waiting with their eternal softness, loose waistband that will never ever feel too snug (therefore never adding to the bad mood), they are my dream. Oh, and add a hooded sweatshirt with them and forget. about. it. Seriously. Ryan usually knows it's been a long day if he walks in the door at night and I've got my man pants on. The rest of the world probably knows it's been a long day if they see me in Target and I've got them on. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I hosted a playdate recently and had them on. The house looked great, the kids had their cute little party food all ready to go, and there I was in my man pants. I'm sorry, but sometimes it's just gotta happen. Lately, I've been a lot sick, a little bit lonely, a tad down about the race and the man pants have been making frequent appearances. Sorry hubs. I didn't have many favorites again this week (I kind of stink at that part lately but I'm working on it!) so instead here's an ode to my faithful friend.....my good old man pants. Go ahead and try them....you'll thank me for life;-)

xoxo,

ali

{bright sunshiny day}

The tears of yesterday's disappointment have quickly faded. I admit, I woke up totally still grumpy, numb and let down but all of that left the moment I walked into church and started to worship. In that moment, I was able to let it go. Every song we sang today was a great reminder that my savior's love is enough to carry me through any hurt and disappointment....even one so trivial. The rest of the day was absolute perfection....lunch with the entire Boyd clan, touring ridiculously gorgeous homes at some open houses and hours upon hours in the beautiful sunshine getting our backyard ready for spring. Even gave the girls a perfectly simple dinner on the back lawn at dusk. Like I said....perfection. All that and I didn't think about the race for one single second. God is good! But then again, I kinda already knew that. I just needed a subtle reminder today.

You are my supply

My breath of life

And still more awesome than I know

You are my reward

Worth living for

All of you is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with your love

And all I have in you is more than enough

xoxo,

ali

{when dreams die}

Today will go down in history as one of the hardest days of my life. Race day. Or not race day as I should say. I know it may be hard for most people to understand the loss I feel by not being able to run this race....all I can compare it to is a job promotion that you've been working your butt of to get but don't; a college that you've always dreamed of attending but you're denied acceptance; a proposal that you've been anxiously anticipating but he dumps you instead; anything that you've longed for and almost achieved only to have it slip through your fingers at the last minute.... a dream that is dead.

I was proud of Liz and Toni (and Brittney!) and was so glad to see them off today. I was like a proud mama....following them all the way to the start line....jogging alongside the corral with the camera trying to keep up with them so I wouldn't lose sight. The moment we had been dreaming about, stressing about, talking about and anticipating for months was finally here and I wasn't going to miss seeing them pick up their feet and start that journey. I just never ever dreamed that I'd be standing alone on the other side of the fence wearing my flip flops and blowing them kisses as I did it. Thank goodness for big huge all concealing sunglasses because I'm sure I looked like a fool. But I had worked too hard for too long to just stand and wave them off: the tears were inevitable. And let me tell you....they flowed. All the way back to the hotel they flowed. And as I sit and type this rather than sleep soundly in my bed it is because they are still. flowing.

For months and months I have sacrificed hugely to prepare for this day. My husband has sacrificed his wife. My kids have sacrificed their mom. Friendships have sacrificed because of the all consuming training. Every area of my life has sacrificed in some way because there just aren't enough hours in the day. That is one of the hardest parts of this. Knowing what goes into training and knowing that it will take a lot for me to ever attempt it again. A lot more missed weekends with my family, a lot more of those days of not being able to walk up and down the stairs after a long run, a lot of precious time with my metabolism being screwed up while it tries to figure out what in the world my body is doing, a lot of money spent to make race day happen...this list goes on. And finding a new running partner willing to run a marathon that I can train with? That could be a long time coming.

This I know for sure: I have almost tasted the victory of this. And it was sweet. Sweet enough to get under my skin and assure me that there is no question about it....I will run one. When that perfect timing comes together and I find the race, the partner and the time to train...I will run. And when it finally does happen, the bitterness of today will make the sweetness of victory that much more sweet. There's gotta be a silver lining somewhere.

xoxo,

ali

{friday favorites}

....bed rest style. Ok, so it's actually Saturday, but I've been sick in bed all week and this is the first time I've felt like typing so give a girl a break;-). I haven't really left my bed this week, so here are the favorites that have carried me through:

1. gossip girl: It's one of those shows that for years I've been asking myself why I don't watch because I had a sneaking suspicion that I would love it. Turns out I was right!! It's the best thing to happen to tv since The O.C. Thank goodness for Netflix and all of the past seasons right at my fingertips!

2. tea: Thanks to Liz spoiling me with Starbucks tea runs and my sudden opposition to coffee, tea is my new best friend. Can't get enough of it and loving that it's oh so calorie free;-)

3. soup: Why is it that when you are sick, nothing tastes better than a good old warm bowl of soup? Toni was sweet enough to make me a huge batch of chicken soup full of fresh herbs from her garden...just what the doctor ordered!

4. meals provided by someone other than me: Speaking of Toni and her to die for soup, there is nothing better than having a meal provided for your family. I have not made dinner in almost a week. That right there is almost worth missing my race for. Ok, not quite...but almost. Seriously though, I highly recommend getting sick or giving birth if for no other reason than being on the receiving end of a few hot meals delivered to your table;-)

5. my hubby: He's been a trooper...pretty much single parenting it all week, driving the girls to and from their activities, picking up the responsibilities of being "mom" for awhile. And to top it off, I'm usually asleep or half asleep and not keeping him much company. I can't wait to get some energy back and be part of this family again. I miss my peeps!

So there you have it, my favorite things about being holed up in my bedroom all week. Hopefully by next Friday I'll be fully recovered and enjoying things outside these four walls. Until then...more gossip girl;-)

xoxo,

ali

{reality strikes}

Remember that big race that I've been training for for months? Turns out, it's not gonna happen. After a few days of being terribly sick and a few scary episodes where I could hardly breathe, I wound up in urgent care....with pneumonia. I know that soon the realization will hit me that all my hard work has gone to waste and I'm sure that my stomach will sink when the starting gun goes off yet my feet stand still, but for now I'm focusing on getting myself better and thanking God that He let me get sick when I did; if only to protect me from something worse. I know that He works all things together for good...and even if I can't see it yet, this too is for my good.

xoxo,

ali

{friday favorites}

My bff happens to be an amazing photographer and she also has a blog that I just love to read (mariaglassfordphotography.com...check her out!). My very favorite part of her blog is her "friday favorites". I love to check in each week and get a little glimpse of what's been going on in her life through her self proclaimed favorite things of the moment. I love it so much I decided to steal the idea for myself. If nothing else, hopefully it will keep me accountable to not let forever go between posts and will give you something to look forward to reading. Let's get started!

1. long runs: I ran 20 miles on Tuesday. I'm not gonna lie, I feel kinda like super woman. I have always loved to run and it's always been an area that I'm naturally gifted in, but 20 miles seemed unreal not too long ago. It was incredible to be in the middle. of. nowhere. three towns away from home, knowing that I got there on FOOT. The adrenaline was already kicking in that day, so much so that there was even a little bit of sprinting involved on the homestretch. Cannot wait for race day after that!!!!!:)

2. white flowers: Call me boring or plain, but white has always been my favorite color (so much so that I had my bridesmaids wear it...so much for standing out on my wedding day!). I love the pureness and crispness of it...I love how it's not limiting and goes with everything. I keep finding myself in the grocery store selecting fresh flowers for the house each week and bypassing all of the beautifully colored bouquets for the simple white beauties. And I just love how they look all around my house!

3. The Bachelor: I know, I know. Me and the rest of America. Or at least me and the rest of the normal Americans;-). It's a train wreck that I cannot ever and will not ever turn away from. And even though Courtney is so horrible and Ben is such a ridiculously shallow loser for choosing her, the horribleness of it makes me love it even more. What's life without a few guilty pleasures, right?

4. kale: In soups, in salads, roasted and salted and turned into "chips"....anyway I can get my hands on it, kale is my go to food of the moment!

5. date night: I know I've said this before, but having a set in stone date night every single week is a little bit a m a z i n g. I got another cutesy 'date night' text from my hubby this week and it totally made my day. There's something about knowing that come 5:30 I am OUT THE DOOR that makes the rest of the day just automatically lighter and brighter.

There you have it, just a snippet of my highlights from the week...I really could go on all night but I've gotta save something for next friday. Happy weekend!;-)

xoxo,

ali

Hi there....remember me? It's been bugging me for days (ok, weeks maybe) that I haven't been blogging....all it took was a few nudges from friends and a sleepless night with a head cold and here I am. I'm proud to announce that it wasn't so long between posts that I forgot my password...got it on the first attempt this time. That's gotta count for something, right?;). I wish I could tell you I've been busy, sick or tired and that's why I've been so quiet....it's not. Actually, I have been busy (marathon training is serious stuff), we have all been sick (stomach bugs, fevers, coughs and congestion have been raging in our house and I have been tired (apparently three year olds with broken bones don't get much sleep. More on that later.)....but all excuses aside, I've been off developing thicker skin for awhile.

You know that saying that it takes five compliments to make up for one criticism? Or something to that effect, you get the point. Well, it's true. And maybe when you already have insecurity issues, it takes about fifty compliments to erase the doubt of a single critic. My posts are vulnerable. That's kind of the point of them. Being real with you forces me to dig deep within myself and recognize areas in my life that God is working to stretch me. I also hope that in doing so, every now and then I will strike a chord with someone reading and that my vulnerability will let you know that you're not alone. That in this crazy ride of life, marriage, motherhood, just being a girl....we're all in it together. What I forget is that every now and then(or more often than not for all I know) there will be someone that reads what I'm saying and has no idea where I'm coming from. And wants to let me know. Well, I've been learning to be ok with that. Sticks and stones, right?

Starting off my Detox study, I said that I was going to be sharing with you on each topic....and I haven't. On purpose. The themes, while all different, have all had the same significance for me (over and over again each week). In my life it's been in a good way but I don't want to beat a dead horse with all of you. You see, whether it's negative thoughts, self acceptance, body image or comparison, the point keeps getting driven home that I care waaaaaaay too much about things that don't matter (other people's opinions to name just one!) and I don't love myself or give myself nearly enough credit (which is just as prideful as thinking I am (as my niece would say) the bomb.com) and that I need to get a grip and spend my time and energy on what really matters and that true beauty will come from the overflow of that. This study has been incredible for me. I've been learning much and digging deep and I'm so thankful for seasons of refinement in my life. There is something so beautiful about recognizing the ugliness you've got going on and picking up your feet and walking away from it. One measly step at a time. But a few measly steps are better than none, so I cannot complain. And if this week's study wasn't on sexuality, maybe I'd share more. But I'm not about to go all Dr. Ruth on you...at all.

So there you have it. Thank you to those that have egged me on to get back to typing. There is nothing more unsettling than getting an email from Stat Counter showing me who has been reading only to know that I haven't been writing! Here's to "not another three weeks between posts"....wish me luck!

xoxo,

ali

p.s. if you annoyingly find yourself using the term bomb.com after reading this, you can thank jane maikkula for that!;-)