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a



Wednesday, March 27, 2013

{stop the essays}

STOP. Just stooooooopppppppppppp. Enough of these essays already people; I can't take it anymore.  Here's the thing.  I am a wishy-washy person.  It's who I am.  Don't get the wrong idea, my core values are unchanging and unchangeable.  BUT when it comes to trivial things, I can go either way at any given moment.  I straddle many lines.  And my mind/persona cannot take being swayed by one more Internet essay.

For example, I am a born & bred Republican.  One of my favorite people in the world is a Democrat (don't worry, I won't publicly out you and reveal your secret!) and when she explains to me why she leans that way, it makes sense to me.  Perhaps because I am wishy-washy.  Or perhaps because the way I am created is that my heart bleeds for humanity and on some level relates to people wherever they are and for whoever they are.  I have many friends that are beautiful and charmed and wealthy and when I am with them, I can see and feel the world from that point of view.  It clicks with me.  But then I can turn and meet someone who is the polar opposite; who comes from nothing and lacks what seems like everything and my heart is instantly engaged and that clicks with me too. I "get" country club life, luxury cars, million dollar homes, designer clothes and over priced lattes.  But I "get" run down duplexes, public transportation and working six days a week at the deli to make ends meet too.  I am, by nature, an empathizer, seeing bits of myself in everyone....relating on some level to other people....seeing them where they are at and understanding it (even if only a little bit).  One of my best friends is a heels in the sand, dying on the mountain top for her cause type (and I love that about her). But it's so not me.  I may not agree with animal cruelty, but I would jump at the chance to take my kids to the circus. I don't have many mountain tops to stand on because the view, as I see it, is always changing and is always a little different.

Which leads me to me growing frustration with all of these essays floating around online. For the past several weeks, this has been driving me crazy.  Every day I wake up to new Facebook posts about the trend of the day/week in either mom defense or bashing.  If you tell me that it is terrible for me to be on my iPhone too much and that I am missing out on my children growing up, chances are I will tear up and swear off my phone.  But then someone else will tell me that being on my phone is my one chance as a stay at home mom to connect with the outside world; my one chance in the day for survival and I instantly resonate with that and feel entitled to scroll away.  Or I will go pinterest/party planning blog over the top holiday crazy and feel so accomplished and creatively satisfied only to read a article about how annoying it all is and can we please just stop and then I feel like I am doing something wrong.  Can't win if I am a pinterest worthy mom/can't win if I'm not.  You get the picture.  Oh, and then there is the "screen time" debate and whether or not we are frying our kids brain cells with too much technology...which is easy to say on a good day but on a day when the household is up at 5am?  Not. So. Easy. When you are raising a houseful of children, is there ever the same formula for success on any given day?  I think not.  Here's what I have to say to it all: please just stop.  Give yourselves and everyone else a break before we make each other crazy judging each person's each and every move.  For those of you that can read one article and stand on that mountain top forever, I commend you for your unwavering-ness.  But for the rest of us who are often unsure of ourselves (especially when it comes to parenting) can we please just let each of us figure it out for ourselves....to do what is right and best for each of our own lives and leave it at that?  Seems to me it would be a whole lot less stressful to just live in the moment without worrying if you are doing it perfectly or not.  Perfection, remember, can never be achieved.  Which makes me oh so grateful for never ending grace and a God who already has it all figured out....

xoxo,
ali


p.s.  Three posts in one night. Either I'm making up for lost time or I have so much caffeine running through my veins that I will never need another cup of coffee again...or at least until 9am when I crash.

2 comments:

PJ Marias said...

The more I read, the more stressed out I become as I try to find my own way through the vine of being a FTM... thanks for reassuring me that its normal :)

Lisa said...

Oh, I love your post so much! SO MUCH!!!!! And how delighted am I that you are blogging again? SO DELIGHTED! Especiallly since when we are together you ask all the questions, because you are polite and caring and sweet and I do all the talking because I am stupid and self-absorbed....now I can finally hear ALI'S VOICE! Yippee!!!!!! Love, love, LOVE! Stop packing and write more.