{stop the essays}

STOP. Just stooooooopppppppppppp. Enough of these essays already people; I can't take it anymore.  Here's the thing.  I am a wishy-washy person.  It's who I am.  Don't get the wrong idea, my core values are unchanging and unchangeable.  BUT when it comes to trivial things, I can go either way at any given moment.  I straddle many lines.  And my mind/persona cannot take being swayed by one more Internet essay.

For example, I am a born & bred Republican.  One of my favorite people in the world is a Democrat (don't worry, I won't publicly out you and reveal your secret!) and when she explains to me why she leans that way, it makes sense to me.  Perhaps because I am wishy-washy.  Or perhaps because the way I am created is that my heart bleeds for humanity and on some level relates to people wherever they are and for whoever they are.  I have many friends that are beautiful and charmed and wealthy and when I am with them, I can see and feel the world from that point of view.  It clicks with me.  But then I can turn and meet someone who is the polar opposite; who comes from nothing and lacks what seems like everything and my heart is instantly engaged and that clicks with me too. I "get" country club life, luxury cars, million dollar homes, designer clothes and over priced lattes.  But I "get" run down duplexes, public transportation and working six days a week at the deli to make ends meet too.  I am, by nature, an empathizer, seeing bits of myself in everyone....relating on some level to other people....seeing them where they are at and understanding it (even if only a little bit).  One of my best friends is a heels in the sand, dying on the mountain top for her cause type (and I love that about her). But it's so not me.  I may not agree with animal cruelty, but I would jump at the chance to take my kids to the circus. I don't have many mountain tops to stand on because the view, as I see it, is always changing and is always a little different.

Which leads me to me growing frustration with all of these essays floating around online. For the past several weeks, this has been driving me crazy.  Every day I wake up to new Facebook posts about the trend of the day/week in either mom defense or bashing.  If you tell me that it is terrible for me to be on my iPhone too much and that I am missing out on my children growing up, chances are I will tear up and swear off my phone.  But then someone else will tell me that being on my phone is my one chance as a stay at home mom to connect with the outside world; my one chance in the day for survival and I instantly resonate with that and feel entitled to scroll away.  Or I will go pinterest/party planning blog over the top holiday crazy and feel so accomplished and creatively satisfied only to read a article about how annoying it all is and can we please just stop and then I feel like I am doing something wrong.  Can't win if I am a pinterest worthy mom/can't win if I'm not.  You get the picture.  Oh, and then there is the "screen time" debate and whether or not we are frying our kids brain cells with too much technology...which is easy to say on a good day but on a day when the household is up at 5am?  Not. So. Easy. When you are raising a houseful of children, is there ever the same formula for success on any given day?  I think not.  Here's what I have to say to it all: please just stop.  Give yourselves and everyone else a break before we make each other crazy judging each person's each and every move.  For those of you that can read one article and stand on that mountain top forever, I commend you for your unwavering-ness.  But for the rest of us who are often unsure of ourselves (especially when it comes to parenting) can we please just let each of us figure it out for ourselves....to do what is right and best for each of our own lives and leave it at that?  Seems to me it would be a whole lot less stressful to just live in the moment without worrying if you are doing it perfectly or not.  Perfection, remember, can never be achieved.  Which makes me oh so grateful for never ending grace and a God who already has it all figured out....

xoxo,
ali


p.s.  Three posts in one night. Either I'm making up for lost time or I have so much caffeine running through my veins that I will never need another cup of coffee again...or at least until 9am when I crash.

{currents faves}

Ok, I realized that I posted a blog update that was really nothing other me saying "hey, I'm gonna write again" which really is saying nothing at all.  2am has turned into 3am and my heart is still racing with yesterday's chick-fil-a iced tea and English toffee k-cups, so I will at least update with a list of my current favorites. Here goes....

1.  California. Ok, since I am not there yet, it is not actually California, but the thought of California. Ever since I was a little girl California, to me, has been the coolest place ever.  I love that I married a California boy who will always hold a big place in his heart for his home state.  This means that every few years we get lured back there for a visit....and the next visit happens to be taking place in t minus 26 hours!!!! Bring. On. The. Sunshine.

2. Loreal B.B cream.  Life changer.  My skin has never looked better...even got my mom, sister & aunt on the bandwagon.  There is no denying it...it's THE BEST.  Thanks Sara for the tip, I owe you!

3.  Kickboxing.  And old love actually, but one I've fallen in love with all over again. Nothing beats an hour of punching and kicking the crap out of a bag....best stress relief EVER.

4.  Spring clothes!!!!!!! I cannot stress this one enough.  I always find myself going a little crazy this time of year.  I hate winter clothes. Despise them.  And my kids?  Please.  They have worn nothing but grey and black for the past four months straight and with weird looking shoes to top it off.  I want to burn their wardrobes at this point.  I have been scooping up spring clothes like crazy and can't wait for us all to wear it all (and to sport tans to go with it).  Which leads me to....

5.  MAXI DRESSES.  This may quite possibly always be my number one love.  Enough said. (Oh, and I love that my little sis is equally as obsessed and every few days we share our finds with each other so neither of us is out of the loop. Wouldn't want to miss out on greatness!).

6.  My preschooler.  For the first time in a long time (since Madeleine was born, really) I have just one girl at home during the day.  I have been adoring every minute with Claire (even though she often talks until my head hurts)....she's my best bud and her affection is ridiculously addicting.  I am savoring every ounce of time I have with my last baby for as long as I have it.

7.  My friends.  Almost three years into our big move and I have my handful of go-to girls that I can't imagine living without...and for that I know I am blessed.

8.  Driving the girls to school.  Ever since Christmas break, we have been skipping the bus and I've been dropping them off at school.  For no other reason except they aren't big fans of the bus and I love watching them hop out of the car and start off on their day...and it buys me an extra 20 minutes with them in the morning.

9.  Serena & Lily catalog. Every page kills me.

10. Party planning.  It's my not so secret obsession and this time of year it sort of consumes me.  But when the big day comes and all the pieces fall into place it is sooooooooooooooo worth it!

11.  This blog.  When I couldn't sleep tonight, I spent hours sitting in a chair reliving the years when my girls were babies...remembering bits and pieces of our past that I wouldn't have ever remembered.  So thankful that I took the time to record it all down: the good, the bad and the ugly...because those times seem like a lifetime ago and at the very least while I read, I can kinda sorta get them back.  Even if it's only in my memory......

I'm off to (hopefully) catch a few hours of sleep before the little one wakes up.  It's so good to be back!

xoxo,
ali

{surprise, surprise....i'm back}

Well hello there!  It has been too long. Waaaaaaaaay toooooooo long.  After several months of people asking me when I was going to start blogging again, the dreaded weekly blog stat emails {that I couldn't bear to open because I felt awful knowing that even a single person was logging on only to see the same annoying post staring back at them} and a little too much caffeine today,  here I am.  At 2am on a Wednesday.  After logging onto the blog for the first time in nearly a year, I was instantly reminded of why I started it in the first place.  Time moves much too quickly and the time I have with my girls is SO fleeting.  Heartbreakingly fleeting.  It is beyond precious for me to look back at the little every day-isms and phases & stages of their lives that always pass before I'm ready {ok, not ALWAYS before I'm ready...truth be told, some phases should end before they even start like 5am wake up habits} and to be reminded of the little things that I would've otherwise forgotten.  So I'm back to document our ordinary life and my attempts to see the beauty in it all.  Because any way you look at it, there's no denying it: life is a gift and IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

xoxo,
ali

p.s.  It's birthday season around here!  For the first time, M & C will be celebrating separately which means back to back bashes and twice the obsessing for me over the next two months.  I am so excited about each of their themes....I can't decide which one I love more!  Can't wait to post my finding as they come....many stolen {thanks Pinterest}, some original.....and all making me way more excited than they should ;-)

"May The Lord bless you and keep you.  May his face shine upon you and be gracious."  Numbers 6:24