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Saturday, August 13, 2011


This week was Emma's "half birthday". She was so excited to now be seven and a half, but all I could think about is that 7.5 is halfway to 15. Yes, FIFTEEN!!!!!! To be honest, I remember being 15 and all of the drama that came along with it and the thought terrified me. But more importantly, 15 is just plain old and it's that much closer to my baby being all grown up:( And considering how the first seven and a half years of her life has absolutely flown by, I know without a doubt that before I know it, my little girl will indeed be fifteen. Why does it have to be this way? I spent my childhood in such a hurry to be all grown up and now I am and suddenly time moves at a warped speed. My tiny baby whom I once sang "Isn't She Lovely" to every single night turns 7 in the blink of an eye, my skin sags despite my best efforts to stay toned, I can't go anywhere without makeup. (I would go on, but really it's just too depressing). I've been saying it for years now, but if I had one wish it may just be that time would stand still....or at least slow down for a while. Motherhood is by far one of the greatest blessings in my life, but with it comes a tremendous burden. I'm not just talking about the day in, day out burden of lost sleep, a house that always has an incredibly high noise volume or laundry piles that have been in mountain form for years. I'm talking about the burden of having three girls that will one day be women whom God has entrusted to Ryan and I to "train in the way they should go". That one day these little peanuts of mine will be out of my care and on their own. I am a perfectionist and an idealist, so there are many things that I want or hope for my daughters: I want them to be smart and beautiful, happy and successful, gentle and kind. I want them to have great style, handsome husbands, a handful of kids, a golden retriever and a house with a picket fence (or is this just what I want for myself?;)). But so much more than that, I want them to be holy. I don't mean holy as in "holier than thou", stand-offish, how dare you holy. I mean holy as in pure in heart. I want them to love what is good and to be driven by it. I want them to realize that there is so much more to this world than themselves. I want them to see the bigger picture and to have a heart for other people. Lately, this is what I've been praying for my girls:

"She obeys me, she accepts my correction, she does trust in the Lord, she does draw near to God." (adapted from zephaniah 3:2)

This sums up my hopes for my daughters. I want Emma, Madeline & Claire to be girls (and one day women) who obey, accept correction, trust in the Lord and draw near to God. Above all else, I want them to know God in the same way I know Him and to know the freedom that it brings. I also want them to never grow up, but somehow I don't think that one's gonna happen:(



kindred said...

i love your prayers and hopes for your girls.. beautiful. they are blessed to have you as their mommy!!:)

Jill said...

you said it perfect! xoxo