{nugget}

I can remember pretty much from the day that we got married how Ryan and I were dying for a golden retriever. We would spend our spare time browsing through pet stores or looking in the paper for puppies. And then one day we found it: a litter of golden retriever pups ready to be adopted. Immediately after work that night, we went to the breeder's home and fell in love with the precious litter of puppiess. It didn't take long for us to choose the right one....we knew we wanted a boy and this little guy had the perfect balance of cuddliness and playfulness. That night, we took home Doug, our little "nugget" for the first time. For years, Doug was like a child to us. I remember driving down the road with him on my lap, walking through the streets of downtown West Palm with him, making a bed for him under my desk at work, swimming with him in the ocean, running with him along the seawall, playing with him in the park, rolling around with him in the snow. I remember the way he "talked" to me, spooning him on the couch night after night and telling him he was the "best boy I ever had", how he instantly seemed protective of Emma when we brought her home from the hospital, how he was always the most content right by our sides. Neither one of us have ever really been dog people, but we were Doug people. Shortly after Madeline was born, our house was too small and our growing family was taking precedence over our beloved dog. We felt like poor Doug who had been our one and only for so long was getting neglected and pushed aside because of the demands of having a two year old and a newborn and a house with a yard too small for him to run free. Around that same time, my brother, who had always loved Doug, was suffering from a brain tumor. His health was only declining and he needed a companion to keep his spirits high. We sent Doug to live with Tim and for a while, it was the perfect solution for both of them. After a year and a half, the cancer won the battle and my brother was called home to be with Jesus. At that point, Claire was already on the way and we didn't think we were ready to take Doug back home again. Thankfully, my sister was willing to take him and he's been a part of their family ever since. I loved that even though Doug didn't still live with us, he was still in the family...he was still my boy who's ears I could rub and who I could snuggle with every chance I got. This weekend we got the call that Doug, who had been fighting cancer for a while now, was rapidly declining and the time had come to put him down. Ryan and I spent the weekend looking over all of our old photo albums and Doug's baby pictures and reliving the first 8 years of our marriage with our boy. I hate that we didn't get to say goodbye, tell him we loved him or hold him one last time. He was a huge part of our lives and will always be missed. But maybe, just maybe Tim just got his buddy back:)

xoxo,

ali