the first five years

Yesterday was Emma's fifth birthday. I can't believe that my baby girl is already five-it's been so emotional for me. The funny thing is that she seems so grown up all of a sudden. I know that it happens slowly and gradually, but at the same time it feels like it all happens overnight. I can't believe that it has already been five years since she's been born. I feel like I can remember every minute of her as a newborn-her smell, her eyes, her sounds, her wardrobe :) I remember when she was ten months old and she was sitting on my lap while I read her a book and all of a sudden she looked up and gave me her first kiss and I burst into tears. I remeber when she was a year and was talking like a little adult-never any baby talk for Emma, she was always like a little grown up. I remember when she was a year and a half and the highlight of her life was a "cream pop" from starbucks. I remember when she was two and she would show up at ballet and scowl and warn the teacher that she was grumpy that day. I remember when she was two and a half and would scream "I hate you" at me over and over again. ( A little traumatized by the birth of her baby sister, I think!) I remember when she was three and really loved to spend time with her uncle Tim. I remember when she was four and she really started to be eager to learn about God and to have so many questions about heaven. I remember throughout all of these years that she is not always kind, often shy and withdrawn, but also gentle and nurturing and loving and smart and artistic and creative and the first baby I ever had and the one it felt like I waited a lifetime for. Happy Birthday, Em!

baby, it's cold outside

Ah, tonight was one of those great nights. We actually had a night with nowhere to go and nothing to do and we enjoyed a quiet evening at home. The cold front that's here is perfect!! It's cold enough that it really feels like winter, but still warm enough that we can play outside without needing to bundle up. Tonight we lit some candles on the front porch and sat with the girls drinking hot cocoa and looking for stars. It was such a refreshing time, being outside with our girls and listening to them talk and taking the time to really see how much they are growing. It was one of those moments that makes it all worthwhile.

coincidence...or not?

It's probably not a coincidence that my blogging seems to have slowed down ever since Rex joined the family. My days are that much more chaotic now juggling three kids and a puppy. It's been a challenge keeping Rex and Claire separated for most of the day because he would rather be top of her face than anywhere else in the house :) I think that I threaten to get rid of him at least once a day, but I know that Emma would be heartbroken so it never actually happens. Oh, well....

We had a great Christmas this year! After "santa" came on Christmas Eve, I could hardly fall asleep because I was so excited for the girls to open their presents the next day!! We had both of our families at our house this year and although it was a lot of work and not a lot of rest for me, it was great to have everyone together :) The weekend after New Years, the girls stayed home with Ryan and I went on a much needed girls weekend to Orlando with my mom and sister. It was so nice to get away with them without the kids and Ryan kept busy with the girls-they had a blast. Maybe I'll have to get away more often!

So much is new with the kids....

Emma got her ears pierced last weekend. She was so brave! I was so proud of her. There was only one girl working so they had to do one ear at a time. You could tell that she really wanted to cry but she was willing herself not to. She is so proud of her new earrings and wearing her hair in a ponytail everyday so that everyone will notice them! Emma is going through a phase where she is very jealous of Madeline and therefore is mean to her all day long. That has been one of the biggest struggles for me lately. It's hard to balance disciplining Emma for being mean to her sister and at the same time making sure that I don't come across as favoring Maddie. Does that make sense?! Ugh, girls and their emotions...I am in for it!! Fortunately, Madeline is still little enough that she is very resiliant and not easily bothered by it and most of the time she doesn't even realize that it's happening. We have been busy trying to pick out a school for Emma to start Kindergarten next year. I start touring the schools this week and it is an overwhelming decision-especially when the schools here do not meet the standards that I am used to. The thought of sending my baby away everyday to a school that I am not comfortable with is so unsettling for me. I am praying that God would make the decision clear to us.

Madeline had her first dance recitial. It was the cutest thing ever....a group of two year olds in giant pink tutus up on stage. And the best part was how much she loved it--she ate it up! The rest of the night she kept trying to get back on the stage, begging "I do that again, mommy!". She's starting to become so much more of a little girl than a toddler. Her vocabulary has been increasing so much and every now and then she gets a little bit of an attitude with me. I'll ask her to do something and she responds with "ug, moooooom". Hmmm...wonder where she learned that.

Claire is seven months old!!! I cannot believe it. She is eating lots of solid foods now. Some days she likes everything and opens her mouth wide to eat and other days she keeps her lips tightly sealed and I need to force feed her. Emma is actually the best at feeding Claire because she can do an "airplane" with the spoon just right and it cracks Claire up and then she opens her mouth wide enough for lots of food to go in :) She's been saying mum and mama and lately she says dada all the time. I think Ryan secretly loves it!! She's started to show little signs of a temper when you take a toy away from her-she now notices and gets mad.

Ryan got back on Friday from a nine day trip to Chile. I was heartbroken as he was leaving and cried all afternoon thinking that I was not gonna survive without him. We made it, though. With lots of help from his parents, of course! It's so good to have him back-hopefully it will be a while before we have to part with him again.

santa claus is coming to town

we're home just in time to get ready for christmas! emma had her christmas program at school the night before we went to the hospital. while she was up on stage singing, madeline was clapping and cheering, "wooo hooo, yeah em!". the girls are so excited for chrismas. emma has a list a mile long and madeline wants a sippy cup and fruit snacks...typical!

claire bear

We're home!! What a scary couple of days that was. As we were leaving the doctor's office on Friday to head to the ER, our pediatrican told us that if Claire didn't have RSV (she had already tested negative twice that morning) than there really was nothing else that it could be other than meningitis because her softspot was bulging and there was a lot of pressure on her brain. Praise God that after a lot of prayer, all of her testing came back negative. It turns out that the pressure was a result of an upper respiratory infection and not a viral infection in her brain. Since it was just pressure and not an infection her brain will not be damaged in any way. We had a long few days in the hospital....they are really backed up right now and we spent the first night in a holding area with 5 other beds and the second night in a treatment room that they converted into a "room" for us. No TV and no bathroom!!! Thank you, Norma for bringing me a DVD player to keep me occupied. On Friday, Claire was really zoned out and not acting herself at all. That night I didn't sleep at all because she was really struggling to breathe and I was terrified to take my eyes off of her. By the next morning, we had our happy little girl back and she was playful and smiley in her crib all day. The nurses all wanted to eat her up! We had to stay in the hospital for the full 48 hours to completely rule out meningitis, but as soon as that timeframe was up, we were able to leave. We got home last night and she's doing great. She threw up last night, but the nurse said that that's to be expected for the next few days. I am so thankful for everyone's prayers and that my baby is home and healthy in time for Christmas.

As I write this, Claire is in the ER waiting to be admitted into the hospital. The doctor is pretty sure that she has meningitis and possibly pneumonia. All beds are full, so we are waiting it out in the ER until a bed opens up for her. She needs several tests, including a spinal tap and then we are looking at least the next 48 hours in the hospital depending on how it all goes. At one point today, the doctor said to me, "They don't all survive this". Those have been the hardest words for me to hear and they keep repeating in my head. I am so thankful that I have a God who is in control of all circumstances and who is bigger than all of my needs. I don't know when I'll be back at the computer, but I'll keep you all posted.

crayola factory

Just a random pic of the girls at the Crayola Factory in PA. They had so much fun!!!